Monday, May 17, 2010

I watched Fireproof (2008) over the weekend and got surprised that it's actually a Christian movie which also touches my heart. I find it relevant and believe that it's not a coincidence that this movie appealed to me while I was changing channels, one from another, in a hot afternoon.

The title itself ie: Fireproof gave me the impression of a violent story line, with gunshots, gang fights etc.Okay it does have something to do with fire and firefighters.
I wasn't in the mood for this kind of genre but somehow, i decided to read the synopsis of the movie. It is a romance genre and I was still not interested. So odd of me, right? I always have a soft spot for love stories, maybe it's just the heat that is a major turn off! So, I continued changing channels in hope of bumping into something that fits my mood and cool me down. Finally, I find myself ironically getting çomfortable, lying on the floor with a pillows around me - getting into a 'late-night movie mode'.

Synopsis: In Albany, the marriage of Caleb end Catherine Holt is in crisis and they decide to divorce. However, Caleb's father, John, proposes that his son delays their separation process for forty days and follow a procedure called "The Love Dare" to make them love each other again.

To get things clear, I'm not reviewing on the movie but more of the message I've retrieved from it. As mentioned, I believe that it is of no coincidence that God has planned for me to watch this movie over the weekend.

As I'm more of a 'quote' person, i think the below quote touches my heart:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

John Holt: Caleb, if I had to ask you why you're so frustrated with Catherine, what would you say?


Caleb Holt: She's stubborn. She makes everything difficult for me. She's ungrateful. She's constantly griping about something.


John Holt: Has she thanked you for anything you've done in the last 20 days?


Caleb Holt: No! And you'd think after I washed the car, changed the oil, do the dishes, washed the house, that she would try to show me a little bit of gratitude, but she doesn't. In fact, when I come home, she makes me feel like I'm an enemy! I'm not even welcome in my own home, dad! That is what really ticks me off! Dad, for the last three weeks I have bent over backwards for her! I have tried to demonstrate that I still care about this relationship. I bought her flowers, which she threw away. I have taken her insults and her sarcasm, but last night was it. I made dinner for her. I did everything I could to demonstrate that I care about her, to show value for her, and she spat in my face! She does not deserve this, dad! I am not doing it anymore! How am I supposed to show love to somebody over and over and over, who constantly rejects me?


John Holt: [John Holt strokes the wooden cross, and turns to Caleb] That's a good question.


Caleb Holt: Dad, that is not what I'm doing.


John Holt: Is it?


Caleb Holt: No. Dad, that is not what this is about.


John Holt: Son, you just asked me: how can someone show love over and over again when they're constantly rejected? Caleb, the answer is: you can't love her, because you can't give her what you don't have. I couldn't truly love your mother until I understood what love truly was. It's not because I get some reward out of it. I've now made a decision to love your mother whether she deserves it or not. Son, God loves you, even though you don't deserve it. Even though you've rejected Him. Spat in His face. God sent Jesus to die on the cross for your sin, because He loves you. The cross was offensive to me, until I came to it. But when I did, Jesus Christ changed my life. That's when I truly began to love your mom. Son, I can't settle this for you. This is between you and the Lord. But I love you too much not to tell you the truth. Can't you see that you need Him? Can't you see that you need His forgiveness?


Caleb Holt: Yes.


John Holt: Will you trust Him with your life?


[Caleb nods; yes]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



I admit that there are many, countless times where I've rejected God when my life crumbles down at me. I've lose faith many times but yet, here I am, back to His embrace, His loving eyes. No matter how many time's I've turned away and rejected Him, He still looked at us lovingly and forgives me. God is worthy and I'm so utterly unworthy of Him to have died for my sins and shame.

In the movie, when Caleb found God, he learns what is LOVE. He asked for God's forgiveness sincerely and prayed earnestly, desperately waiting on Him. He knelt down on both knees and prayed. He trusted God wholeheartedly. I find myself in a somewhat same situation as Caleb in this movie. He is at his lowest point, he is crushed, often frustrated in life, then he found God and submitted himself in His mercy and grace. He waited on Him, and this is what I've learned over the weekend. 

With nothing but bad events taken place in turn and more to come, how is it possible for me to even have a glimpse of hope? There's no sign of light that will lead me out of this dark tunnel. There is no future, there is no my future. Look how little faith I have even though God only require faith as small as a mustard seed?

I am still seeking for His forgiveness for all my doubts and little faith. Till this day, there are times when I've got so frustrated, I want out from everything. It is so tough going through all this alone. It requires loads of mature-ness in me to think rationally and not go by my own emotions. There are days where I'm filled with joy for I'm reminded of the hope He has planned out for me. However, it does not last. I'm really vulnerable now, inside out but I can't show this side of me or rather, I do not want to give in to this side of me. The scars in me are forever visible and I do understand that in this lifetime, there will be more events that would pour salt in this wound and this is just the beginning. How sad, right?

At the end of the day, God gave us choices. A choice to lead this life with Him or without Him, by your own strength or by His strength?

.............................................................................................................................................. 
Caleb Holt: If there's a God out there somewhere, he's not interested in me and my problems.


John Holt: I disagree. I'd say he's very interested.

Caleb Holt: Then where's he been in my life?

John Holt: I'd say he's been at work all around you. You just haven't realized it. You haven't exactly given him an open invitation.

.............................................................................................................................




At this moment, I'm thinking about bits and pieces of a song where the lyrics makes me tear:
Before the world began,
You were on His mind,
And every tear you cry,
Is precious in His eyes,
Because of His great love,
He gave His only Son,
Everything was done,
So you would come.

Come to the Father,Though your gift is small,
Broken hearts, broken lives,
He will take them all,
The power of His Word, The power of His Love,
Everything was done,
So you would come.
 He died for my sins, He gave up everything for me. Who am I to complain on and on about the price I have to pay for being His instrument.

I am broken but still holding on to all the pieces, in hope that I'll be able to glue them back again.
A day at a time, a day at a time, kim. be forever thankful and grateful that God loves you no matter how
broken you are..

xoxo

No comments: