I wanna pack it up,

crush it down,

push it in a pill,

and feed it to you every damn day,

and eventually,

you'll get it.

winter 2007

you played a bedtime story on me.

my plan backfired and i played with fire. unintentionally.

Dear Nothing,

You are nothing to me now. Not even your signature smile can brighten up my days now. Oh, i WAS definitely interested in you, but too bad that i found out the other side of you. You do not believe in being sincere, do you?? I am so not interested to play games with you anymore because, let me repeat myself, you are nothing to me now. And just so you know, you look darn pathetic now no matter how much you melted my heart before. You, my shining star, has just turned everything to darkness. Pfft...

Yours truly,

A very disgusted friend to you.

p/s: i just found out that you are 'darn rich gay heartbreaker'

xoxo

Like a rose, I am wilting and dying.

I feel so bitter, exhausted and getting paranoid.

I'm falling from grace, I'm fading away.

Everything is falling apart. everything. every single thing that matters to me. every part of me is being stabbed. and my wounds heals very slowly.

emptiness always has its place in every minute of my life.

God, i would fall on my knees and pray till i turn to dust for you to hug me again and tell me that you love me and that all these are going to an end. I promise that every tear i cry is a sincere one.

As much as I disappoint others, others disappointed me as much as i did. I'm really upset over everyone and not forgetting myself. No one is perfect that i know, but expectations and trust betrayed me.

My daddie and i had a conversation.

Kimmy: Dad, what should i do?? What would you do?

Daddie : Kimberly, you have to stop sulking and move on. This is life. Learn from this, take this as a lesson learned.

Kimmy: How to manage this now?? How would you manage this??

Daddie: You have to show grace and mercy to others. What did the bible say?? Forgive and forget.

Kimmy: Dad, i know but you have to understand that i'm deeply hurt.

Daddie: Kimberly............ you've got to be humble.

yes, i feel like a lone ranger right now. Every juice in me has been squeezed out. I've tried very hard to do everything in my capability to save the situation i was forced to be in. The least everyone else could do is to support me in it, but they didnt or should i just say that they are incapable, weak, useless, stupid, ignorant and everything else. i'm not being harsh, it is a fact. i really do not know how or what to do now. Drop the ego, kim.. puhleasseee... this is not ego, it is called disappointment mixed with hurt. I have a feeling, i'm the cause of all the ugly scenes that is going to happen very soon. i am so frustrated at everything.

One great situation: I came early to college to look for a parking space but i can't find one and i realized that i'm going to be late for class, so i parked somewhere far. I walked quickly to college, and i saw many many parking spaces laughing at me. Great!! I arrived late to class and earned a glare from the lecturer. After class, went to get my car, not surprising, i saw a white paper decorating my windscreen- a summon. RM100 for illegal parking. Darn. Can't those MPPJ have some sense that our kindergarten has limited parking space? I am to the extent of burning anyone in that uniform alive. While cursing, i grabbed my lunchbox hoping to at least cure my hunger. Yes, another unfortunate event.. My lunch was exposed to the air, and yea, no lunch. Woohoo... and i believed god do not believe in me using a mechanical pencil, i bought 3 mechanical pencils for the past 3 weeks because they refuse to function when i get them home.

Don't get surprised if you read the paper tomorrow and it says : "Girl Dies of Frustration and Bitterness"

It has been a long silence ever since i told you that i needed you.

I would really wanna know if there is something or anything left between the both of us now??

Besides bitterness and pain?

Nothing??

Question to self:

If there’s nothing left,why can’t I just walk away from the spot you left me crying?

*the fading light within me needs to be rekindled by a spark.*

xoxo

hEY ppL!! it's my 21st!!!

it's Lok's 21st...

and he called me to plan WITH him,
so we decided to go to Sanctuary and all our classmates are invited..

so folks, these are some random pictures.. (too tired @_@)

p/s: i'm so sorry for not updating, this semester is exceptionally tough. i'm stupid, hello...

Lok's 21st @ Sanctuary, Curve
Date : err.. April 15th, 08

Acting cute pageant

Kunshan was drunk the whole night. he was screaming at some point.

Soon Seng and Melissa came after 12am ( they're fun!!!)

Lok & his co-planner

their quote: "even though we are drinking, we must stay healthy"

(they did push ups on and off the whole night, waiters are LOL.. oh yea, kunshan was still sober -swtness-)

i love the blurry one though..

birthday boy showing some moves

they swept Lok off his feet *happiness*

where is photoshop when i need one??

Rebecca & Lok

Lee San and Lok duet-ing

rebecca : come on kit, open up, the ice must go in..

michal kissing lee san (the lights censored it)

bro and sis??

brennan and hp take-2 for the night ( they are being punished 2wice)

read the words on the cake
it says : CUTIE LOK, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LOVELY FRIEND

cheers~~

Lok with all the girls in red (he is a lucky boy that night)

before Sanctuary, we were having dinner @ Vivo

...................................................................

i miss my sister so much. she is doing fine in kedah right now.

a picture of me and her wearing glowy sticks during glo's 2nd anniversary

nicole, if you're reading this,

the house is superly quiet, your absence is deeply felt.

lee san and rebecca, remember about the black dress??


the dress is beautiful

.................................................................

update pics of Easter drama : Champion

This is how i am suppose to look as a Devil

this is daniel the pure devil

and the lead devil is Chris

...

...

...

...

...

me??

me, before i apply blood all over my lips

is easy to imagine actually, you can see me looking like this soon..

-panda kimmy-

??????????????????????

Just to inform you guys...

-i really wanna eat this american chocolate cake-


visa application -> ?? -> 11kg -> forget perth

come to a conclusion yourself. it's easy.

i find it hard to breathe for weeks. i need to breathe.

busy + stress = suffocation

kimmmm, hang on.

this semester, no mercy

God, please have mercy on me. please do. by Your grace, Father.

i need my sunshine too. Mr. gloomy, go away.. shoo!!

xoxo